My little home

I am writing this post from my brand new apartment! My computer positioned by the window looking out unto the street, the pretty Fall trees, the random people walking their dogs, a jogger now and then, hardly a car in sight. It's so quiet here. So, so quiet. I feel relaxed, at peace. I don't suddenly hear footsteps above me 'oh, mom and dad are home'! Don't suddenly smell — what is that Curry? — coming from next door. I hear nothing, other than my fingers hitting the keys and smell nothing, other than the cup of coffee sitting in front of me.

Moving Tips with Jenny Watson

The Microwave is really just another box and seems like such a waste of space to go unused. Now, you can't put anything heavy in it that will roll around and possibly damage the microwave. So what can you do? Well, take all your tupperware and shove them in there! They are light and sort of bulky and annoying to pack. Perfect!

This has been Moving Tips with Jenny Watson.

Quote of the day

"I worked for American Harper's Bazaar . . . they fired me. I recommend that you all get fired, it's a great learning experience."

— Anna Wintour during her speech to the Teen Vogue Fashion University attendees

True Boner

Well I have finally seen True Blood. The last 2 weeks I've spent watching the entire first season. Let me tell you I have never been more turned on. First of all, everyone is beautiful — from Sookie Stackhouse's gap in her teeth to those lips; to her brother's hard rock body and voracious sexual appetite; to the the the fangs and pale skin of the vampires; to all the sex and the biting and the blood — whew, is it hot in here? I don't know how people watch this show with others? Are there orgies going on afterward? Is the population of bisexuals up since it premiered cause I was feeling pretty bi until the credits rolled. Does this show revive 'bed death' couples? It must! Know one thing, if I invite you over to watch a little True Blood, my intentions are not pure, they are pretty bloody horny.

I might or I might not

Hey guess what everyone? I have more to say about Facebook! Today I'm going to talk about events. When I am invited to an event on Facebook that I know for sure I will not attend, I will hit 'not attending'. Like say for example, it's out of town or I have other plans that night, then 'not attending' is what I will choose. But normally, when I'm invited to an event that is in town and is not a small soiree which I feel obligated to commit to one way or the other, I will choose 'maybe attending'. It's just what I do. Now, I'm not sure if I should take our Facebook event 'attending' habits and try to parallel them with life...but I will. I started to look at other people and what they do and I noticed that their habits fit their personality. For example: I have one friend who right away clicks on 'not attending' to pretty much everything except the stuff she knows she will attend. No hesitation, the event just posted, she's done. Now, this friend in non-facebook life is very decisive, speaks her mind and gets stuff done. I know another person who clicks 'attending' on everything and again in non-facebook life is so upbeat, positive and always wanting to please others. And then there are the ones that just ignore all events, they 'haven't responded' and a lot of them I would consider 'unresponsive' in real life. So, what does my 'maybe attending' say about me. Well, you could say it says I'm noncommittal or kind of flaky, neither here nor there. But I would say that it means I'm open to all possibilities...maybe.

Listening and dancing to music is AWESOME!

I could handle watching this on a saturday morning. Why didn't we have these shows when I was little? Tick Tock goes my clock!

Quote of the day — 80's style

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
- Ferris Bueller

Laugh of the day

This is so great. Wish that text was not in the way, but life is sometimes not perfect.

Jenny and The City

I have a job working on a publication that takes me out of the house 3 or 4 days a month. It's about a 20 minute bike ride and I bundle up and make my way there. The cool, Autumn air feels like a natural face-lift and takes a few years off me (for about an hour) and also acts as a wake up/sober up call. Although I take the same route every time, crossing Elm Street (shiver) down to Dundas, past the AGO (cute OCAD students) over to Beverley and down to Queen. I am always struck by the beauty of the city when I coast down Beverely Street, the whole waterfront in view, the CN Tower proudly dominating the frame. The sun beams off the metallics of the buildings onto my newly tight face as I get closer to my destination.  I love this city.

Life's a journey

I went for a walk through the Fall leaves, kicking them to the beat in my head when suddenly one of the leaves took off in flight! It wasn't a leaf, it was a dragonfly! It buzzed by my head and for a second I thought maybe I should follow him, you know à la Harry Potter? Maybe he was leading me somewhere. Somewhere magical, somewhere mysterious, somewhere just for me. I imagined touching him with my index finger and by doing so he lifted me up and took me into the sky to begin our journey to our magical, fantasy land. But he just took me to No Frills. I bought some tomatoes, apples, milk and some crackers.

Laugh of the day

Moving is moving

I am moving soon. I have started packing -- and organizing to pack -- you know, throwing things out you don't need, maybe donating clothes or giving your friends stuff. I am going through everything, making sure I actually need it, downsizing to fit into my soon to be smaller apartment. I came across all these old letters and cards that I sat down and started reading. Birthday cards, letters from old lovers, old friends. The thing that struck me most was how powerful a handwritten letter is. These days, no one sends hand written letters, but there is so much to them. From the handwriting, to crossed out words, to pen changes as the ink drains out from thoughts and feelings that urgently must be shared. I thought about all the letters and cards I have given and wonder if those recipients feel the same way about me when they pack up to begin again.

Horoscopes courtesy of The Onion

• Aries Your last hope of finding true and unconditional love ends this week when your ideal mate is executed by the State of Texas for unspeakable crimes against humanity.
• Taurus This week's revelations will be especially mortifying for you, seeing as how you've been insisting for years that life is not some sort of big pie-eating contest.
• Gemini When the moment of truth you've been praying for all these years finally arrives, you'll reject it out of hand rather than admit it's all been the cat's fault.
• Cancer You'll suddenly be torn away from your friends and cast out of the only home you've ever known by the authorities, who will insist your sentence is over and you're free to go.
• Leo Just as you've always suspected, it is in fact a felony to use your particular method of "getting girls."
• Virgo Next week will be a time of magical romance and unending joy for you, thanks to your boundless talent for self-delusion.
• Libra You're going to need a lot of Epsom salts and lip balm this week. No, honestly, you can trust us. This isn't like the time with the horse laxatives.
• Scorpio Someday you may learn that it is indeed possible to take a fun thing too far, but not before next week's experimentation with autoerotic asphyxiation.
• Sagittarius Your combined proclivities toward paranoia and depression combine when you start to think a race of alien lizard-people are controlling life's lowest echelons from behind the scenes.
• Capricorn In a wacky horoscopic mix-up, you'll encounter a mysterious stranger who takes you on a journey over water just as you're trying to start new projects at work.
• Aquarius Keep extra apples and ban-dages around the house next week, as your lover seems to be going through a William Tell phase.
• Pisces There will be nothing you can do to avert the disaster of next week, although there will be plenty that a reasonably bright and competent person could do.

Laugh of the day

Don't go away mad, just go away

As much as I lament about aging, there is one great thing about it: wisdom. Wisdom to know when to well, lie a little. Now, I know what you are thinking 'what? Lie? You are so honest!' And while that might be true, sometimes even I need to fake it! When I just can't win that argument, when there is no resolution in sight, when someone is just talking crazy and I could get mad or annoyed and fight them but I realize there is no point - I just turn on the false - tell them what they want to hear. Now, I know, lying is not good but it's more bending the truth or leaving stuff out so they will go away pleased but more importantly, they just go away. Cause really, I don't have the time for these things anymore, I am very busy worrying about the wrinkles around my eyes and the development of jowls.

They go together like...

I went to the store specifically to buy tampons. I picked up a box and made my way to the counter. While in line I looked around to see what items were on sale in the bins around me and noticed cans of tuna for 59 cents. Ooh I thought I'll get a couple. But then thought I can't buy tuna and tampons together with no other items. It really makes no sense why, but it just seems...inappropriate. It's like buying a tooth brush and a big bag of peanut brittle; antacids and Doritos or a cucumber and hand lotion. Some things just don't go together.

Laugh of the day

Oops my cougar is showing

I hung out with an old lover last night. Now when I say old, I mean in my past — not that this lover is old — but I'll get to that in a bit. We drank 2 and 1/2 bottles of wine and talked about our lives, mostly mine really as she is in a relationship and I'm single and swinging and therefore much more interesting. The subject of age came up as it inevitably does whenever I am anywhere these days and most especially when I spend time with old lovers 17 years my junior. — Ok, you know where I'm going with this right? The skin thing? No? You don't know what I'm referring to? Ok, well I'll fill you in. — Because of my recent intimacies with a younger demographic I have noticed the difference between the skin of a 21 year old and the skin of, say, a 35 year old. It's all in the elasticity, or lack there of. Now I have talked about this phenomena for years, but usually when I do people listen but never indulge me in my neurosis. But this time, my young former lover pinched my skin and said 'oh yah, I see what you mean'. [insert shocked face] I guess when they are not trying to bed me, or marry me, the truth finally rears it's fierce head. rawr.

Quote of the day

Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are.
- Miguel de Cervantes

It's in me....somewhere

It may surprise you to learn that I was once a crazy BMX rider. In my teens my friends and I would do daredevil jumps off ramps, fly down stairs, ride in empty pools in the winter (I grew up in Vancouver, there was no snow). Yes, I often fell and yes, I was often hurt -- I got the scars to prove it! But when you are 12, you just get right back up, bloody knees and all and try it again. Now at the tender age of 39, there is still a little of that BMXer in me. When I fell off my bike the other day, I distinctly remember loving that moment when I flew over my handlebars into the air, for that split second I was a teenager again. And of course the days after when I went out and showed off my bruises: 'check this out - can you believe how brutal this is?' -- enjoying the looks of horror, of sympathy. I was 12 again and feeling pretty cool. Now, days later when I am popping Ibuprofen like candy and slathering on the Tiger Balm, I can see the 12 year old me sticking out her tongue and saying 'na na na na na na'! Oh it's ON 12 year old me....it is ON! But maybe it could be on tomorrow? Until then, pass me that heat pad will yah?

Laugh of the day

Hand Job

As part of my focus on aging, my latest obsession is my hands. I was at a dinner party the other night and was listening to the hostess tell a story. I reached for my glass of wine and gasp! noticed my hands. They looked so old! Wrinkly. Loose. So of course, I just drank more and forgot about it....until the next day. When as soon as I saw my hands, it was all I could think about.
Hands are constantly in the field of vision! You can't get away from them -- they are everywhere! Taunting me! Haunting me! I mean right now I look down and there they are typing away with their hideous veins popping through, wrinkly knuckles, fingers tenderly pressing keys. Sigh...I need wine.

Quote of the day

"I believe that truth has only one face: that of a violent contradiction"
— Georges Bataille

I go a'walking

I went for a walk today. I thought it was going to be a short one -- my usual route -- but today I saw a sign that said 'Discovery Walk' and I just started following it. Down some wooden stairs through trees to a road that I did not recognize the name of and had no idea where it led. I kept walking. I passed this couple and asked them 'do you know where this ends up' and they said they didn't --  couldn't remember anyway -- couldn't remember if they had done this walk before. I thanked them and kept walking. The trees were so beautiful! The yellows, oranges and reds all bleeding into each other, the sky a perfect blue -- I often stopped and just looked up -- I could have been anywhere. Eventually I  ended up somewhere I did recognize and was able to navigate myself home. I took roads I don't usually take...just for consistency.

Laugh of the day

G.A.Y.S. (Guys Against You Serving) from Thomas Lennon

The Great Porn experiment

I have about 10 porn DVDs. Now before you judge, I will tell you I got them from my old job, a publishing company which had a porn contingent. Now, these DVDs have been sitting in my closet for about a year -- ok, I did watch a couple of them -- something about boy scouts and another about a plumber -- but I digress. So in my packing up to move, I thought I might as well get rid of them. But how to do this is the question? I mean, I can't really donate them to the Salvation Army. And I can't just throw them out? Or recycle pieces of them? It seems, well, wrong. So I have decided to do this: throw one in to the mix, randomly. For example: I returned a few library books yesterday and I slid 'Swim Meat' in between the 2 titles. It was a little dicey when the Librarian said 'oh I can take those' but I quickly threw them down the shute and just shrugged, oops, too late! I can just imagine the Librarian's reaction. Maybe she will scream in horror? maybe she will quickly grab it and tuck it under her floor length skirt, claiming it for her own. Maybe she will try to scan it in before she realizes? The possibilities are numerous and the fun really lies in not knowing. Hmmmm....where should I put 'Frat boys 4'? I'm thinking Tim Hortons....in Scarborough?

More animation

A bear always lands on his feet.

The animals got it

I went to Riverdale Farm yesterday to visit Dusty the donkey. I usually go see him when I need to think about something but today I couldn't get much exercise due to my injuries (see post below) so a walk was all I could muster. I'm gonna miss my walks over to the farm...after the move I mean. I remember when all those piglets were just born. I saw them 5 days after birth! So little, so cute! And now they are fat and bigger than me! And the little lamb, all grown up too -- the goats -- or as I like to call them -- avatars, going gray -- all the animals changing and growing at rapid speed! I wonder how they feel about it. Are they freaked out like us about aging? Do they look at their hooves and think, hmmm, these look a little wrinkly. Do they notice their eyes becoming smaller as their brows sink into them? Do they worry about the extra pounds they have packed on in the last few months? (pigs I'm speaking about you). Shrug. I'll guess we will never know. But I'll miss you Riverdale Farm, mostly you Dusty, thanks for all the support.

Quote of the day

"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort." — Zach Galifianakis

How I suffer for art

Yesterday I fell off my bike. I was coming up to an intersection and I saw the streetcar with doors closed waiting at the light, I could see the light about to change so I increased my speed. Suddenly this guy darted out from the sidewalk in front of me, presumably to try and catch the streetcar. I braked and before I knew it I was heading straight over my handlebars, flying through the air, and then 'thunk' first my left hand, then my knee, my bicycle landing on top of me. This woman came out to help me up. 'I'm ok' I'm ok' and I hobbled off for a few blocks then got back on my bike and coasted the rest of the way home. When I got home I inspected my wounds. The worst was my hands. My tiny little soft hands! The pads on them were all swollen! I couldn't even use the left one. In fact, dear reader I am writing to you now in slight pain, but that is just how dedicated I am to you. I called my mom to get some sympathy (I'm the baby of the family) and she didn't disappoint. I was in pain when I went to bed and I discovered the Percocet that I kept from when I had my wisdom teeth extracted. Ooh what a find! I popped one and within an hour started to drift to sleep. I snuggled into bed and called it a night. When I woke up this morning I felt like the entire Circus had just performed a show over my body. Everything was stiff and sore. I got dressed and as I was dressing discovered all these new bruises. I huge one on the back of my leg, one on my back, my knees covered with them and of course, my cute little hand. Oh and did I forget to tell you that this fall happened on my way home from the dentist! Do I have your sympathy yet? Remember my cute little hands? Anything?

Being nice is cool

Ok people. Another post about Facebook. I'm all in a tizzy. And I'm going to tell you why. When I take the time out of my very busy, hectic schedule (pause for laughter)......ok, are you done?...So when I take a moment and write on your wall or comment on your status or photo or invite you to an event or what have you, I expect some sort of response. It's not a lot to ask. It really isn't. I mean why are we on Facebook anyway? Is it not to communicate? Is this not 'The Social Network'? Now, I understand if you are busy, but that is not my point. The point is 'selective' response. I see you comment on this but not that; RSVP to that invite, but not that one; update your status...but not address any comments on it. All you have to do is hit 'i like this' and if it's me you don't like, then why are we even Facebook friends to begin with? I don't know about you but I've been out of High School A LONG time and FYI, if this was high school,  I would be pretty popular obvs, so you'd better be nice, or someone might throw a Slushie in your face.

Horoscopes courtesy of The Onion

• Aries A messenger from the Lord will appear to you in glory this week and, in a voice that shakes mountains and shivers oceans, announce price hikes on all divine services.
• Taurus Mars and Venus will both appear in your sign this week, as will Zach Galifianakis, who is apparently in everything these days.
• Gemini When the moment of truth you've been praying for all these years finally arrives, you'll reject it out of hand rather than admit that it's all been the cat's fault.
• Cancer While you've always had good luck at work using the buddy system, next week's attempt to move to the fuck-buddy system will be a complete disaster.
• Leo While you're starting to think your problem is that you're too "in your head," it's actually a rare species of cranial tapeworm.
• Virgo Your attempt to achieve fame no matter what the cost in blood will fail, although the stories of the What's-His-Name Killer will be told for generations.
• Libra The king's men part you can understand, but you've never really comprehended how all the king's horses were supposed to help.
• Scorpio You'll be trapped in a paralyzing dilemma that can only be solved if you learn something new, take the initiative, or have an original thought of your own.
• Sagittarius This is a good time to make aggressive moves in your romantic life, but not so aggressive that you actually cause yourself physical harm with the Fleshlight.
• Capricorn While you're often disgusted by the shallowness and ignorance you see all around you, you have to admit it's made it easy for you to get dates.
• Aquarius Although they say it's not over until the fat lady sings, increasingly unrealistic body-image standards mean it's now over when there is a vocalization by any female over 135 pounds.
• Pisces While it may be true that the emperor has no clothes, you have to admit that if you were the emperor, you'd walk around naked, too.

Closure in closing that bag

I am moving soon...in a few weeks. Yesterday I spent the day purging. Man, does it feel good to get rid of things! I said to myself 'if I haven't worn it or used it in a year, it goes'! And out it went! I got rid of a few things that reminded me of certain people, people from my past, well, exes. Things or clothing I held on to that had some significance -- maybe they once wore it to bed -- maybe they bought it for me -- maybe they hated it and in doing so, made me love it that much more after they had gone. I realized I had been hanging on to items just for their sentimental value and in a way, they have been holding me back. So, I threw them into the bag along with my memories, put 2 full garbage bags in my granny cart and wheeled the goods to the Salvation Army down the street. So until the next move when I purge a bunch of new things from a crop of new exes! Or... maybe not...

Science Lesson of the day

It's rainy out, so to pass the time until it clears, watch this! Made by the office of The Eames (the famous designers) in 1977. I'm sure I was made to see this when I was a kid, but I was probably passing notes (aka texting of the 1980s) at the time. So I don't remember seeing it, but better late than never!

Quote of the day

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. - Carrie Bradshaw

The United States of Jenny

I feel like I have two people inside of me. Now, I don't mean I have multiple personalities or that I am crazy (well, clinically anyway). I mean that there are facets of my personality that completely contradict the other. I am a very rational person. Come to me in times of stress, call me up for that fast approaching deadline, invite me to go shopping with you on Boxing Day, ask me for advice on why your new love doesn't like to see you more than once a week -- I'm there for you, clear headed, full of advice and time saving strategies. But I am also very sensitive and can be emotional when it comes to my own life which completely goes against my rational side. So when I'm faced with a problem, the two sides have to battle it out! So, who wins? Well it's an endurance game my friend, the one who hangs around the longest comes out on top.

Everyone's a DJ

The other day I was at a bar. A friend of mine was the DJ and before it got too busy I was chatting with her while she played her tunes. She has this plastic turntable-like thingy that can simulate old-school scratching. I looked at it with childlike curiosity and I guess it showed cause she asked me if I wanted to scratch. Gulp. I was scared but in that way you are scared when your new crush is just about to kiss you. I was excited. Ok, I said. I tried a few timid moves, but they did nothing. She said 'no, do this' and really went for it, so I did my best to imitate what I just saw and heard and rrriiiippp, my scratch attempt sounded through the speakers. I lost my breath. I got nervous and excited. I just did something that everyone heard. What a rush!

Laugh of the day

Kids with accents are so adorable! It almost makes me want to get one....a child I mean....almost.

Quote of the day

Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The power of emoting through emoticon

I chat on MSN. Daily. All day. Mostly with my friend Clare. Sometimes she says things that annoy me, things that get to me in some way. Or maybe things that I just don't want to hear or own up to (insert sad face). But then she hits send with a little dancing penguin and just like that, I'm over it.

Amazing animation

This is incredible!!
Professor Fletcher's invention of the CellScope, which is a Nokia device with a microscope attachment, was the inspiration for a teeny-tiny film. It stars a 9mm girl called Dot as she struggles through a microscopic world. All the minuscule detail was shot using CellScope technology and a Nokia N8, with its 12 megapixel camera and Carl Zeiss optics.

Babe, Hun, Buddy...oh my!

Have you ever noticed how people use certain terms of endearment on facebook posts like 'babe' or 'hun' or 'buddy' to address their friends. But then you notice that they call everyone these things and so they just lose all meaning and become to mean, well, nothing.

Heart you totes babes! xoxo
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Quote of the day

You were supposed to give us 'predatorial' but you didn't even give us 'editorial' you gave us 'deadatorial' - Tyra Banks