Ooh tell me, tell me...oh wait, don't

I love to hear people's 'hook up' stories. You know the kind of story I mean. Your friend goes out and meets some hottie, takes them home and [insert description of night, of sex, of person, of feeling, etc]. I want to know everything! So the other night I was out with a friend of mine who is in a long term relationship. She started to tell me this story about her night with (wait for it) her girlfriend. Her long term partner. Her live in lover. Anyway, she continues and in her words 'the hottest sex I've ever had'. I was taken aback, woah, woah! Wait a minute here, you're in a relationship, you have sex, yah we get it, goes with the territory but let me tell you...no one cares. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: no one wants to hear about relationship sex. We don't care if it's the best time you've ever had or if you felt the earth move. Unless it involves mythical creatures, aliens, contains some great acrobatic feat or at least one another person, we don't want to know.