Jenny's Porn

Is it weird that I needed a cigarette after watching this?

Nostalgic Sunday

It's Sunday. I feel a little tired from last night. I saw a show where there were a lot of old friends and/or old lovers in attendance. It was surprisingly ok. Then this morning, I was leafing through the eye magazine or maybe I was reading tweets or maybe a post on facebook...but something made me go to my CD collection to see what I got. I grabbed one by this band called Revolver — an English 'shoegazer' band; the genre I primary listened to back in the day — popped open the case, turned on my receiver and CD player and slid it in. I pressed play and listened to it from start to finish. It reminded me of my 20's, and how lost I was then. How much agony I was in over some lost love, or some insecurity I suffered from. But still, then, I was surprisingly ok — that was just normal life. And I was happy. And now, 15 some odd years later, when I know what actually being happy and confident is, I can't help taking a little trip back in time now and again, just to remind myself.

Would you give Judi Dench your seat?

I always give up my seat on the bus to an older person. Hey, I'm just a gentlewoman that way. [blushes] But today, I looked up and saw a wrinkly face and said, 'oh would you like my seat?' and the woman turned to me and said 'oh, no thank you, I am about to get off'. I took a closer look at her, she was very elegant. She had a beautiful full length coat on with a sparky brooch, her make-up was perfectly done, she looked, well, lovely. So, then I started to feel bad, like the way I feel when the cute 20 year-old Starbucks employees call me Ma'am. I felt for this woman. She was older than me sure, and she was holding on to that pole with familiarity. This woman had lived! But she still had a lot more living to do! You go girl, you get off at the next stop and go wherever you are going and next time I see you, I'll just look away and let you age like the graceful woman you are.

Quote of the day

Four be the things I'd have been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. — Dorothy Parker

20's, 30's, 40's Oh my!

All of us ladies have grown up reading the same magazines. From the fluffy soft porn of Cosmopolitan, to the inspiring Oprah, to the 'every-woman' Chatelaine. [Hey I didn't make these sayings up!]  They all have fashion sections that show 'looks' for your age. They break it down into a look for women in their twenties, one for women in their thirties, one for forties and sometimes fifty + depending on what demographic the magazine is targeting. As I head into my fortieth year, I'm stumped on which 'look' I should be wearing. I'm on the cusp between my thirties and forties, oh, what to do? I mean I don't want people gasping saying 'eek, she is dressing WAY too young'. Yet, everyone thinks I look younger than my age already and come on, lets face it, a lesbian woman's 40 is a straight girl's 30. And you know these magazines are targeting straight women, so I guess I have my answer. Damn, I could have been wearing suspenders for the last 9 years!

Quote of the day

My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine — Tallulah Bankhead

Routinely stumped

I remember when I used to blog a lot. Maybe too much in some people's opinion but regardless, I always had thoughts about something that I felt the need to share. Lately, I haven't been blogging much. I guess I've finally ran out of things to say [cue sighs, applause, desperate sobs]. Truth is having a job is sucking out all of my creativity. Waking up at 7:15 every day is not conducive to noticing the little details of life that I normally love. Now don't get me wrong, I am so happy to have a job, even just to put an end to the Monday to Friday nausea that plagued me for weeks before I got the call saying 'you're hired'. Now, maybe I'm still adjusting to the hustle and bustle of the 9 to 5 commute, the going to bed early in order to rise early. Maybe. Or maybe this is why there are a lot of poor artists out there. I get it, you need time to think, to create, need no distractions. I think for me, it's the routine of it all that is the culprit. It has been said that creativity is the opposite of routine. Now, don't get me wrong, I have my little routines, things I take comfort in. Like for example, having 2 different jams on my bagel (I like the variety of tastes) or blow drying my hair before I get dressed (I get too hot otherwise) or even Sunday phone calls with Mom (retired people still care what day of the week it is — it's their routine). But, these routines please me, I take comfort in them. I am not comfortable with my present Monday to Friday routine. Good thing this is only a contract job and come summer time, I'll be back to freelancing and my old routines of biking to the market every other day, reading on the beach and enjoying that morning bagel at a civilized hour, one side strawberry, the other marmalade, just like it's meant to be.

Spicy girls and spicy treats

I went to this fashion show last night at the ROM. It was filled with young, beautiful people, wearing heels, tight dresses and tons of make-up — the women too! [ba dum ching!]. The women were collectively hot, but individually bland. It reminded me of a How I Met Your Mother episode where Barney, the womanizer of the bunch, calls this: 'the Cheerleader Effect'. Meaning, as a group, they look hot, but seen individually, each one has a flaw. It took a while for the show to start, so we lingered at the bar, getting progressively tipsier and tipsier, my friend trying to numb her sore high heeled feet and me, just enjoying the drink. We were then tardy to get a seat in the now standing room only show. So we watched from outside the line where we could continue drinking. There were appetizers floating around and by this point I figured maybe I should have a couple. I tried this cream cheese onion-y thing that left a sour taste in my mouth, so I glanced around for something to take it away and I spotted little rice crispy squares. I grabbed one and greedily bit into it, only to discover it had been flavored with a strong curry, leaving me confused and sad, so I drank more and watched the models and the crowd and everyone became collectively and individually, a lot hotter.

Quote of the day

kisses are a better fate than wisdom — e.e. cummings