40

The other night I met this woman. At some point during our conversation, I asked how old she was, as I inevitably do. She said 29. She asked me the same question. I took a breath, then said 40. She barely flinched, but looked at me and said 'really?' but I didn't buy it. I said yah. She bought it. I took a big gulp of my vodka soda. Um, hello? I look young...that's what everyone says. That's what everyone has said for years. How dare she digest so smoothly my 40 year oldness. pfft. I mean really. I took a breath, excused myself, went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. How did this happen? My whole adult life people have constantly told me how I look younger than my age. I always shrugged it off, oh please! You flatter me! OH psshaw! You're silly! I mean really! Stop, just stop it! And in one night, it all came crumbling down. My first impulse was to share an intimate bath with a toaster. But I then I thought about it. I realized that this was a relief. Now I can let those white hairs that are showing up in my hairline show, I can stop doing shots at last call, I can stay home on Saturday nights and watch SNL and I could stop pretending that I understood Nicki Minaj. I was finally free! I'm 40, I feel 40 and I look probably somewhere around 35 ;)