Sometimes just a quick scroll through my news feed is enough to send me on that downward spiral. Exes frolicking about, crushes that don't crush you back, parties you weren't invited to (they were lame for sure, but Facebook makes them somehow seem thrilling), oh I see 'blah blah' and 'blah blah' are now in a relationship — oh I'm still single, HOW have they found love when I can't even get a date — I'm going to die alone... you get the picture. Rationally you know it's all meaningless but still, you are going back to bed.
2. Watch a depressing movie.
The other day I watched Melancholia, the latest Lars Von Trier offering. It is about the end of the world. A beautiful movie that sucked me in from the get go and when it was over, I felt heavy and it took 2 days to recover.
3.Watch porn.
Yah sure, while you are er, 'doing it' everything is fine, but afterwards, flushed, sweaty, half-dressed — now what do you have to look forward to? You are alone and somehow even more sad than before. Although perhaps if you keep doing it all day....
4. Drink alcohol.
One drink is fine, but when the bottle is empty and you are clicking through your exes Facebook pictures, remembering 'the good times', you've had enough.
Things you should always do when depressed
1. Take the Dufferin Bus.....to Dufferin Mall.
When I lived in Vancouver there was this dive-y bar called The Dufferin. We used to go there for cheap booze and ego boosts. Same applies here, except you can handle it sober. If you're a first timer, the bus might be enough, don't overdo it. Or maybe just The Mall for now. You know yourself, do what's comfortable for you.
2. Watch a funny movie.
Remember that funny movie you loved? You've seen it a million times and you have laughed a billion laughs? Well watch that. Laugh and laugh until you realize there is no reason to be depressed. Laugh until you realize how wonderful life is. Laugh until you are delirious and you forget why you were even depressed in the first place.
3. Watch porn.
A lot of it. See above.
4. Drink alcohol.
Life just gets better the second drink in. Have a couple of drinks, watch that funny movie, then take the Dufferin Bus to Dufferin Mall and buy yourself something pretty. You deserve it honey.
No comments:
Post a Comment