DUMPED!

I  got back from Vancouver last night. I was there visiting my family for the holidays. The night I arrived, I arranged drinks with a bunch of old pals. Some couldn't come and one of my oldest friends was one of them. I was disappointed. Mostly cause I kind of got the feeling from the excuse given that this friend was just not into me anymore. This friend had moved on. I will admit this friendship has been getting less close throughout the years and neither of us have put in much effort to keep it alive. I had to accept it, what other choice did I have? But then something else happened. I won't go into detail but lets just say it made it absolutely clear that I was on the outs. In fact I couldn't believe the lengths this person went to just to not come have a drink with me. I thought to myself, how tortourous is it to be in my company, I mean, I'm kinda charming, no?

No one sleeps when I'm awake

I have trouble sleeping. I have trouble sleeping quite often. You see, I'm a thinker. Now, I'm not saying that I am an intellectual, in fact, far from it. My formal education is well, non-existent. I am not thinking about world issues or philosophical ideas, I'm thinking about, well, wait for it....myself. Now, it might surprise you to know what I am thinking about. It might surprise you to know that the most sleepless nights are not when something is bothering me, it's when I'm excited about something. Now with the upcoming holidays, I find myself excited daily. I'm counting down the days until I see my Mom, my Dad, my sister and brother in-law and my adorable little niece. I'm also excited about all the social things that are happening before I leave. I'm thinking about what I should bring for hosts, what to wear, will my crush be there? Will my other crush be there?  And don't even get me started about actual Christmas day, but since I'll be at my parents Christmas Eve, I'm sure I can scam a sedative from my mother's stash. In these sleepless moments, I try to calm down by breathing deep, I imagine clouds in the sky, moving slowly but then I picture myself floating on them like a magic carpet, traveling to far away places — oh the sights I am seeing! The new friends I am making! So then I try to count sheep, but inevitably I start naming them and cuddling them. Hey, they are pretty cute. Eventually I'm so exhausted from all this fun that I fall asleep and the next morning, I wake up, excited about the things to come.